I randomly woke up just now and did nothing but stare at the dark ceiling above me. I have a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach and I’m not too sure why I’m feeling emotional at the moment. How do I think I’m feeling? Truthfully I feel quite empty. Not as in hunger, but in love. … empty from love? Yes, such an emotion is possible. Right now I wish I had someone who cared for me. I’m sure there are people in this world who do, but in all honesty; I don’t see it. I am not blind. I see peoples affection toward me. I see it. But do I feel it? No. I feel nothing, nothing at all.
I come up with these ridiculous scenarios in my head thoughout the day and night and wonder how things would be like if we lived near each other. Or if one day we accidentally bumped into one another in the streets. Or if I was the new kid at your school and we slowly started falling in love. Or if one day you realized that I’m actually the person of your dreams and you want everything to do with me. I come up with so many different stories hoping that somehow along the future just one of them is bound to happen. One day.
Yesterday made me realize that everything and everyone is so damn beautiful. It’s easy to find flaws and hate in others and objects but once you find love and beauty deep within the bitterness of most souls; you become at ease and understand that it’s okay to let go, let loose and give nothing but unconditional love.